This email contains corgis 🐶
And also words of gratitude. Not clickbait.
I started this newsletter as a class project a few months ago.
If we’re being completely honest, when we began pitching our ideas, I was at one of the lowest points I had been in for a while. In October of last year, I sat in the cramped hallway of a tiny hotel in New York after having run away from Los Angeles to see my mom and get some solace from everything going on (I found, though, to my dismay, that you can never escape yourself, can you?). I was trying to explain my ideas for the project to my professor while struggling to connect to the WiFi in this place across the country from any of my homes and, in some tragic or cruelly metaphorical way, struggling to connect with why I was in school, why I was studying journalism, what I was doing to make the world a more tolerable place to be in for myself and my friends and anyone else. Out of that panic escape to see my mom and a period of time that served as a reminder of the ugly and beautiful chaos that is life (recall — words are interchangeable and parentheticals are my attempt at distracting you any time I find myself getting a little too philosophical), we got the “Questions to ask your mom” newsletter.
And how truly freeing it has been to tell my story and to ask these questions and to talk to others who share experiences that are similar or completely different. No matter what our families or lives look like, I think we are all tied together by this attempt to figure out what it means to love somebody, to be a part of a family, to simultaneously appreciate and need to differentiate from someone (especially when that someone is our selves). We are tied together by a need to see each other in different lights — to let sun shine in and illuminate a forgotten tenderness or to turn off the light completely and start anew. Or just to remember that these people in our lives won’t be there forever (and neither will we) and that maybe we should write down our mom’s favorite flower or a recipe we may want in a few years or some sort of record so that someone someday knows we existed.
I find nothing more important than remembering the people in my life. I find nothing more freeing than telling my story and having it told back. I find nothing more affirming than getting DMs from friends of friends telling me that they’ve experienced the same shame or their grandfather was the same way or they’ve always wondered the same thing about their mom and now maybe they’ll ask, or they won’t, but at least we can sit together in this wonder that is being a fucked-up person in an equally fucked-up world.
When I started this class, I knew I wanted my project to be something that would push me to write consistently, and working on this newsletter has done just that. It has forced me to sit down and finally write some of the stories and ideas I’ve had floating in my brain, it pushed me to start conversations with my family, it pushed me to ask questions of myself. The fact that it has done the same for other people genuinely makes me feel like my heart is going to simply burst out of my chest and grow little arms and legs and run and hug or nod or smile at each and every one of you and say thank you for seeing me and, hopefully, in some small way, I see you too.
As a new year and a new semester come upon us, I can’t wait to continue this journey with you all and I am so deeply and eternally grateful to each and every one of you for joining me in this.
We’ve got a lot of exciting learning, questioning, and reflecting ahead of us. Thanks for being here.
<3 Julia
Interview (and dog) time!
Who could be better to join us this first week back than the wonderful Tiffany Luke (and her very sweet puppies, Tofu and Boshi)?
Tiffany is an awesome corgi mom and an internet connoisseur, and today she is continuing her mission of sharing joy by talking to us about families (of all kinds), growing up and, of course, dogs.
Thank you, Tiffany! (sending some virtual pets from all of us to the pups <3)
What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned from being a dog mom? What has been the most fun part? The most rewarding?
The biggest lesson I've learned from being a dog mom is patience. When they are puppies, everything in the world is brand new to them, and while they are super adorable during this time, they are also at their most destructive. When it came to puppy training, there were many times where I wanted Tofu and Boshi to figure things out quicker or I was stressed that they would never pick up on their training. However over time, a lot of these issues figured themselves out and dogs in general are very smart and do pick up on training with consistency and practice.
The most fun part is having Tofu and Boshi be a part of all the big moments in my life. With Tofu, she has been with me through my first job, grad school, and my engagement. Recently, I got eloped and Tofu and Boshi played a big part in our wedding photoshoot. They've been with me through all my ups and downs throughout the years and it's really hard to imagine what my life would look like without them.
The most rewarding part is whenever Tofu or Boshi decide on their own to lay down next to me or to cuddle with me. I feel like that is their way of telling me that they love me. Boshi is a big cuddle bug so he's always coming over to me for cuddles. With Tofu, you have to earn her love and whenever she does reward me with a Tofu snuggle, I feel like the most special person. Another thing that they both do is they both have a favorite part of their body that they like to get scratched (Tofu loves scratches on the back of her head while Boshi wants them on the side of his chest). I love when they nudge my hand to get their favorite scratchies.
A few of your recent videos show Tofu and Boshi growing up. I know my mom says kids grow up fast, but I think dogs grow up even faster. What has it meant for you to be able to start a family? And, what has it been like to build a corgi-lover family online and around the world through social media?
It has meant alot for me to be able to have my little family and watch Tofu and Boshi grow up. There have been a lot of hurdles and challenges along the way and both my husband and I look back and are proud of what we accomplished together as a family. My in-laws like to joke that it's practice for when we have human children.
I've been so lucky to have so many people who follow Tofu and Boshi's daily adventures. Every year, I like to send out Christmas Cards to some of our followers and I'm always blown away to have so many mailing addresses from all these different countries. Through social media, I've been able to make so many friends with corgi parents and talk to so many people around the world. I'm really grateful for the supportive community that we have built.
What would you ask your dogs if they could talk?
If they could talk, I would ask them if they were feeling okay and if any part of their body felt uncomfortable. That's the one big challenge whenever they get sick; since they aren't able to verbalize their discomfort, a lot of their vet diagnosis comes from my observations or just a general feeling that something is off. Dogs are also so resilient that sometimes I do worry that they might be hiding that they are injured or in pain.
Finally, what is a question you would want to ask your mom?
As a mother, what is something you wish you had done differently?
May your inbox be full of love, and your life be full of light.
I enjoy your newsletter! I'm a sister Substacker and also a journalism professor in the day-job, and it's great to see the nextgen journalists like you experimenting and connecting in new, innovative, and really personal ways - that's what it's going to take! (You can probably see that I also write about Jane Austen for fun - and that, as it turns out, is also about learning how to love, and be in the world.) Good luck, stay well, and keep going!