Let’s get the hard stuff out of the way first.
It’s nearly the end of the first month of a year that has felt like three already, in a period of time that has felt relentlessly infinite, in a life that is really fun sometimes and also really hard sometimes.
This is the email in which I tell you I’m switching this newsletter to once a month.
This is the one in which I ask for your forgiveness.
The one in which I say sometimes writing is hard and so is balancing school and a job and still carving out time to not be tired and just to love to fill a space with words and try to make them feel as much like myself as I can.
This is the one in which I remember that I am but one subject line in a sea of many, and that if I wasn’t sending this in such a dramatic fashion, probably no one would necessarily have noticed and that that is, by all means, okay (maybe even preferable, because who really wants to be perceived?).
But clarity is cool and honesty is good and also I just wanted to say hi so, hey! Here’s what I’m thinking.
I love to write. About 1% of the time. About 10% of the time I don’t mind it, about 30% of the time I voraciously need it, about 20% of the time I really hate it, and whatever percent that leaves after is the space in which I am just out here trying to exist as a person who is 20 and making mistakes and learning and not learning and writing and not writing and missing her mom a lot.
All of that is to say, when I write this newsletter it feels like a little space where I can breathe. Hopefully (maybe?) it feels that way for you too. And I want to keep it that way! I want to be thoughtful thoughtful thoughtful not rushed, not forced, not tied to some you-must-always-be-producing timeline that hurts more than it helps.
Once a month feels like a nice compromise. Maybe compromise is the wrong word because this is a change I am making for me and not for you and that’s okay every once in a while (maybe it’s okay more than every once in a while, maybe this is actually better for you because you want fewer emails anyway, maybe a monthly newsletter will give me more time to edit out all of the maybes in my writing).
Once a month feels like I get to write, and I get to stay in touch with you, and also I get to be a kid and play a little and live a life that shows me things worth writing about.
Once a month feels right for now, but also you may see me more often. Sorry! I may pop in unannounced, I may show up randomly, I might end up having a whole lot more to say than I thought.
I hope that’s okay with you. I hope if there is anything in your life like this — that you love and you want to keep loving — that you find little ways to keep it within reach.
So, with all of that being said… I’ll see you next week. February! Wow! A new month. A new newsletter, a new guest (and she’s really cool, I promise). We made it! We’re making it!
Life goes on.
Peace and love,
Julia <3